Thursday, April 30, 2015


The day after we found out we lost our baby, James came home with a tiny tree in his truck. It actually looked more like a few bare sticks since there weren't any buds yet, but it was a redbud tree. That entire week, redbud trees were in full bloom everywhere in Nashville. They line the streets and bloom into bright pink flowers every spring. I've always said how much I love them so it was very special that this was the species he chose to remember our little sprout. And of course, it's the perfect color.

Tuesday, April 28, 2015


I've noticed that one of the first things someone asks is "how far along were you?" As if the earlier you lose your baby, the easier. It's back to that 13 week rule. Once you are in the 2nd trimester, your baby has "made the cut" to be openly talked about. I still can't wrap my head around that concept. Carrying your baby for less amount of time doesn't make you any less of a mother. Or make your baby any less of a life.

Wednesday, April 22, 2015


These past 2 weeks have been the hardest of my life. I keep praying that the pain in my heart will lessen as the days go on, but it still hasn’t. I’ve just felt lonelier. I had another breakdown last night. The kind that just when you think you’re done, another wave begins. I pulled myself out of the bathroom and grabbed my laptop to search for hope.

Thursday, April 9, 2015


Spring cleaning time! Our pantry was in desperate need for reorganizing. I realized after clearing the top shelf that I didn't take a "before" this is actually 1 shelf cleaner than it originally looked. Honestly, I can't believe I'm actually sharing how disorganized we were living... yikes!