Wednesday, November 11, 2015

11.11

Our baby's remembrance tree has turned a vibrant yellow and has officially started losing it's leaves this week. And as each one falls to the ground, I think my heart breaks a little more.

11.11.

My baby's due date.

Today I'm at work carrying on as if it is another regular Wednesday...sending emails, answering my phone, performing at the level I typically do. But the pain in my heart is probably the deepest I've felt in a long time.

All of the steps forward and back over the past 6 months have all led me to the same dead end. Today is a day I just have to get through. Nothing anyone can say or do will make it any easier, either. I am just going to surrender to all the "should bes" and "what could have beens."

Today is a regular day for everyone else, but not to me.

Today I carry her heart. I carry it in my heart.



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