Tuesday, March 29, 2016

it didn't happen for a reason

Everything happens for a reason.

I used to say it all the time and truly believed it. I used to tell it to other people who were struggling, thinking that it was somehow helpful. I used to find comfort in it -- yes, this hardship is happening, but something good is going to come out of it. It used to fuel me to get through life's setbacks and I'd desperately search for the meaning to everything. That all changed when I went through my miscarriage, and even more so now that I lost Grace. I don't believe it anymore. And honestly, every time someone tells me that "this is God's plan" or "it happened for a reason," I have resist every bit of urge not to punch that person in the face.

My daughter did not die for a reason. My daughter did not die so I could learn a life lesson. She died, and it was unfair. Shitty things happen to people everyday and the only thing we can do is try to pick up the pieces and move forward. Everyone's challenges are unique and different, but I'm beginning to believe that there is no rhyme or reason for any of it happening. I think we as humans are put on this earth to endure hardship, and it is our choice whether or not that hardship is going to destroy us or strengthen us.

It didn't happen for a reason. It just, happened.


I received this card from a friend a few weeks ago.
It might be my most favorite card ever. <3

3 comments:

  1. "I think we as humans are put on this earth to endure hardship, and it is our choice whether or not that hardship is going to destroy us or strengthen us."

    You’ve mentioned you’re a Christian so I’m writing to you with that in mind. I know it must be emotionally difficult to cope with the kind of hardship you've gone through. I'd like to encourage you not to lose your hope. When people say that things happen for a reason, whether they are aware or not, they are referring to the Biblical teaching that God, who's very being defines what is good and not what we as his creation define as good, is working for his good. See Romans 8:26-30. So yes life sucks because of evil in the world and the Bible tells us that this is our lot in this life. We are destined for pain and suffering until we physically die. But that's why God sent Jesus to show us that we can have a new chance at life after our physical death. There is a reason for hardship and it’s like you wrote that this hardship can either destroy you and the demeanor of others who watch, or it can strengthen you and offer encouragement to others. That’s a reason that ultimately shows people around you who your God is.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hey, it's Charlotte Joe's teacher. I ran across your blog this morning and have been in tears reading it, but this post really spoke to me.
    I don't talk about it a lot, but at this time last year my husband and I went through fertility testing and found out we can't have our own biological kids, I had to go through surgery a year ago next month for some of my issues, and during some of the hardest months of my life people kept telling me that "everything happens for a reason" or "it's all part of God's plan", I'm a Christian, but if anyone says that to me again I seriously want to punch them in the face, I finally had to tell one friend to quit saying that to me. I know that we'll have children somehow someday and for now I give all of the kids at work all of the love I would give my own children... But people just don't realize how hurtful it is to say things like "it's all part of God's plan" when you're hurting so much.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Hey, it's Charlotte Joe's teacher. I ran across your blog this morning and have been in tears reading it, but this post really spoke to me.
    I don't talk about it a lot, but at this time last year my husband and I went through fertility testing and found out we can't have our own biological kids, I had to go through surgery a year ago next month for some of my issues, and during some of the hardest months of my life people kept telling me that "everything happens for a reason" or "it's all part of God's plan", I'm a Christian, but if anyone says that to me again I seriously want to punch them in the face, I finally had to tell one friend to quit saying that to me. I know that we'll have children somehow someday and for now I give all of the kids at work all of the love I would give my own children... But people just don't realize how hurtful it is to say things like "it's all part of God's plan" when you're hurting so much.

    ReplyDelete