TENNESSEE'S ABORTION BAN FOR FETAL ANOMALY: FROM A MOTHER WHO LIVED IT

As a full-time working mom with 3 kids, my free time is pretty much non-existent. Lately I've been feeling like I live 3 different days in a 24 hour time period. My to-do list gets 5 new additions to every one accomplishment.

TIMING IS EVERYTHING

Last Friday marked the 2 year anniversary of my 2nd trimester abortion -- the day we said goodbye to our daughter, Grace. The day started with tears and ended with a family dance party. It was perfect.

SORRY FOR THE INCONVENIENCE

Today I came home to a letter from a collection agency for a balance we owe on our abortion. An abortion that happened 2 years ago next month.

UNTITLED 66 PHOTOS

I was attempting to organize my millions of photos during my lunch hour on Friday and came across an untitled folder on my desktop. I opened it up and there they were...the maternity photos we took when I was pregnant with Grace. It was right there among my folders titled Faye's Maternity Pictures, Faye's Newborn Pictures and Joe's First Birthday.

ABORTION RIGHTS: WHAT'S THE VALUE OF LIFE?

As I sat among Right to life members on Tuesday waiting for the committee to get to SB 1180 on the agenda, I kept asking myself one question. What do all these pro-life people do for a living? 

STEPPING AWAY FROM ADVOCACY

Yesterday, after spending another day of my maternity leave at Legislative plaza, I learned at 5pm that the committee decided to table SB 1180 for a day due to some amendment written by a Right to Life representative. A delay tactic, if you will, in an attempt to lose the opposition's steam. I returned to my car, paid yet again for the expensive city parking, then sat in traffic for an hour and a half battling downtown Nashville in the rain. I listened to my daughter cry hysterically in the back seat while I cried hysterically in the front. I was angry, sad, defeated and consumed with guilt.

RE-TESTIFYING

On Tuesday I testified again for Tennessee's SB 1180.  My first time testifying against this bill was with the House Health Subcommittee, and this time was with the full Health Committee. I felt really anxious going into this testimony because the last time I testified, Representative Hill dismissed me immediately after I shared my story stating that "for the record, this bill doesn't even apply to her."

CONFRONTING TENNESSEE LEGISLATORS

On Wednesday, Faye and I participated in Planned Parenthood's Take The Hill event. The goal of the day was for Planned Parenthood advocates to meet one-on-one with state legislators to educate them on the importance of women's healthcare needs, and to oppose 3 new Tennessee bills that directly threaten a woman's right to safe and legal abortions. (I've included a brief summary of the 3 bills below for those who are interested. Tennessee friends -- please be sure to check them out!)

GRACE'S 1 YEAR ANNIVERSARY

I couldn't sleep last night. I just laid awake replaying the car ride to the hospital over and over in my head. I opened my computer and attempted to write but I had nothing to say. Today, one year ago, was just so fucked up. There's no other way to put it.

GRIEF

A few days ago we had a new member join our Ending a Wanted Pregnancy support group. She was one day post-surgery and asked the group, "I haven't cried yet. Is something wrong with me?" Her question hit so close to home.

POLITICS: GET INVOLVED

Yesterday I felt defeated, as I know many of you did. I think what shocked me the most about the results was learning that 53% of white women in America voted for Donald Trump (according to CNN exit polls). I just cannot wrap my head around that statistic. I guess I just don't understand what could be more important than having rights to your own body.

IT'S TIME

James and I had our 3rd trimester ultra sound early last week. At this point, I thought I had passed enough hurdles, felt enough hourly kicks, and was far enough along in this pregnancy to go into this ultra sound a little more relaxed and confident. But of course, that wasn't the case.

THE DEBATES AFTERMATH

It's been a week since the 3rd Presidential Debate...which means it's been a week since I first heard Donald Trump's words, "In the 9th month, you can take the baby and rip the baby out of the womb of the mother just prior to the birth of the baby."

SUB PREGNANCY: FAKE IT TILL YOU MAKE IT

After 2 losses, I've accepted the fact that I will never be a normal pregnant person again. I will never be naive and feel protected, I will never get my pregnancy innocence back and I will always carry my two angels in my heart.

KINDRED SPIRITS

I saw a little girl with her mom at the grocery store the other day. She was wearing a cute little flowered dress and had short blonde hair with a bow in it. She seemed content playing with a box of uncooked pasta, listening to the noodles shake inside.

MOURNING & DANCING

I recently did a 2 week bible study with one of my friends called "Mourning & Dancing" and the underlying message resonated with me deeply --

We can both grieve the wrongs of this world and celebrate the sweetness of this life.

THE TRUTH ABOUT 2ND TRIMESTER ABORTIONS

There are a lot of misconceptions that I hear about abortion that aren't based on fact. At this point in my journey, I feel a sense of responsibility to set the record straight. I want to share some personal details about my own 2nd trimester abortion to help shed light on what really happens, even if it's difficult to talk about. I guess you could say I'm tired of listening to arguments based off of inaccurate information.

REFLECTING ON MY ABORTION: SHOULDA COULDA WOULDA

A few months ago I set out on a quest to find a new doctor. I wanted someone who was thorough, kind and compassionate. But more importantly, I wanted someone who, without a doubt, supports a woman's right to choose.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, GRACE

This week has been really hard. The days have dragged on with heaviness, each a little more emotional than the next. I've begged time to stop so I wouldn't have to face this day without you. 

Your due date. 

PARENTING THROUGH PREGNANCY LOSS

It's hard to be a parent when you feel broken. It's hard to live for someone else when sometimes you can barely live for yourself. Parenting through grief is just plain hard. You want to be in the moment for your child, but sometimes it's practically impossible to juggle it all.