Tuesday, December 12, 2017

SORRY FOR THE INCONVENIENCE


Today I came home to a letter from a collection agency for a balance we owe on our abortion. An abortion that happened 2 years ago next month.

Wednesday, November 22, 2017

THIS IS US -- FROM A PREGNANCY LOSS SURVIVOR


The show This Is Us has become my weekly therapy session. I usually get cozy in bed with my big box of Kleenex, ready for whatever they're going to throw at me next. And for whatever reason, it always feels so good to cry alongside the characters. From the very first episode with the doctor's monologue about life handing us sour lemons, to Kate's body image issues and her strained mother-daughter relationship, this show is so emotional for me because it hits on so many relatable aspects of my life. And tonight, well, it hit the hardest.

Friday, November 10, 2017

NASHVILLE: SANCTUARY FOR ALL


I went to dinner with a friend the other night and we got to talking about what brought us to the Nashville area. My friend's story was the same story I've heard over and over again. It sounded just like mine.

Thursday, November 2, 2017

STAR WARS HALLOWEEN


I love Halloween. Always have. Since having kids, my love for Halloween has risen to a whole new level. What's better than reliving one of your fondest childhood memories through the lens of your own kids?

Saturday, October 21, 2017

ELEGANT BABY SPRINKLE


Babies are worth celebrating, whether it's your first, second or fifth. In the past, showers were typically meant to celebrate first-time moms, but baby "sprinkles" are a new trend that's emerged that ignores that tradition. Basically, a sprinkle is just a scaled-down version of a baby shower -- less people, less frills, and typically less or no gifts since many second time moms already have all the equipment they need. It's a great way to tastefully welcome a sweet new addition.

Friday, August 11, 2017

THE $100 GROCERY CHALLENGE


If you follow me on instagram, you've probably noticed that I've been meal prepping like a crazy person. This all started back in mid-May. I had just taken a 16 week unpaid maternity leave and our cash flow had taken a bit of a hit. (Well, I guess technically I got 60% of my salary for 6 weeks, but it was from my own short term disability plan that I paid into myself. My company paid for nothing. I know, don't even get me started...) Anyway, James and I sat down one night and decided to take a hard look at our overall spending to understand where we could make cuts to get us back on track.

Monday, June 19, 2017

POST PARTUM BODY


My body has been through a whole hell of lot these past few years. I've had weeks where I've gained 10 and others where I've lost 10. 4 pregnancies in 3 years with lots of emotional highs and lows will do that to you. Sometimes I'd have an "I don't give a fuck" attitude, and I'd fill the void with ice cream and wine. Other times I was so depressed I could barely keep a bite of food down. Pregnancy loss does a number on your self esteem, especially when it comes to your body image.

Saturday, June 3, 2017

UNTITLED 66 PHOTOS


I was attempting to organize my millions of photos during my lunch hour on Friday and came across an untitled folder on my desktop. I opened it up and there they were...the maternity photos we took when I was pregnant with Grace. It was right there among my folders titled Faye's Maternity Pictures, Faye's Newborn Pictures and Joe's First Birthday.

Sunday, May 14, 2017

THE MOTHER WITHOUT A PLACE


I don't belong anywhere.

Thursday, May 11, 2017

A MUCH LOVED BABY & AN IMPOSSIBLE CHOICE {GUEST POST}

Written By: Allyson

I’m sharing our story because our choice mattered. This choice shouldn’t be taken away from parents. I believe we all do the best we can with the information we are given. And we should be trusted to make the right choice for our babies and our own bodies. My hope is that others will get to continue to choose what they feel is right for their babies and their families.

Friday, April 21, 2017

ABORTION RIGHTS: WHAT'S THE VALUE OF LIFE?


As I sat among Right to life members on Tuesday waiting for the committee to get to SB 1180 on the agenda, I kept asking myself one question. What do all these pro-life people do for a living? 

Wednesday, April 19, 2017

STEPPING AWAY FROM ADVOCACY


Yesterday, after spending another day of my maternity leave at Legislative plaza, I learned at 5pm that the committee decided to table SB 1180 for a day due to some amendment written by a Right to Life representative. A delay tactic, if you will, in an attempt to lose the opposition's steam. I returned to my car, paid yet again for the expensive city parking, then sat in traffic for an hour and a half battling downtown Nashville in the rain. I listened to my daughter cry hysterically in the back seat while I cried hysterically in the front. I was angry, sad, defeated and consumed with guilt.

Sunday, April 2, 2017

RE-TESTIFYING


On Tuesday I testified again for Tennessee's SB 1180.  My first time testifying against this bill was with the House Health Subcommittee, and this time was with the full Health Committee. I felt really anxious going into this testimony because the last time I testified, Representative Hill dismissed me immediately after I shared my story stating that "for the record, this bill doesn't even apply to her."

Thursday, March 23, 2017

FINDING HAPPINESS AGAIN


A few of my friends that have experienced pregnancy/infant loss have recently asked me what it's really like having a rainbow baby. Does she fill the void? Am I happy? Have I had any postpartum depression?

Friday, March 10, 2017

CONFRONTING TENNESSEE LEGISLATORS


On Wednesday, Faye and I participated in Planned Parenthood's Take The Hill event. The goal of the day was for Planned Parenthood advocates to meet one-on-one with state legislators to educate them on the importance of women's healthcare needs, and to oppose 3 new Tennessee bills that directly threaten a woman's right to safe and legal abortions. (I've included a brief summary of the 3 bills below for those who are interested. Tennessee friends -- please be sure to check them out!)

Sunday, February 19, 2017

FAYE'S NEWBORN PHOTOS


Well, our photographer did it again -- we are so thrilled with these newborn pictures of our sweet Faye. I still can't figure out who she looks like. Me, my husband and son were all born fair-skinned and completely bald. I just can't get over all her hair!

Sunday, February 12, 2017

PERSONAL REDEMPTION


Earlier this week I took Faye to her 2 week appointment. One of the first things checked during these appointments is the baby's weight, and if I remember correctly, the goal for the 2 week appointment is for your baby to be back up to birth weight. Faye was born 8lbs 11oz, and when we left the hospital 2 days later, she was down to 8lbs 3oz. I remember being panicked with Joe when he dropped in weight, but as a 2nd time mom, I expected it this go around.

Saturday, February 4, 2017

FAYE: HAVE FAITH, TRUST & BELIEVE


On January 23rd, my husband and I welcomed Faye Elizabeth into the world. She weighed 8 lbs 11 oz, measured 19 inches long and has a head full of black hair (which is shocking, because her blonde older brother was bald until he was almost 2 years old!) But more importantly, so far our sweet little girl is healthy. That still feels surreal to say.

Thursday, January 5, 2017

GRACE'S 1 YEAR ANNIVERSARY


I couldn't sleep last night. I just laid awake replaying the car ride to the hospital over and over in my head. I opened my computer and attempted to write but I had nothing to say. Today, one year ago, was just so fucked up. There's no other way to put it.

Sunday, January 1, 2017

GRIEF


A few days ago we had a new member join our Ending a Wanted Pregnancy support group. She was one day post-surgery and asked the group, "I haven't cried yet. Is something wrong with me?" Her question hit so close to home.